


Don’t Look Over Your Shoulder

by Hasana_chan



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aquaphobia, Body Horror, Drowning, Ghosts, Humanstuck, M/M, Paranormal, Suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-14
Updated: 2014-08-01
Packaged: 2018-02-08 19:54:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1954179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hasana_chan/pseuds/Hasana_chan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Kankri Vantas and there's a ghost following you around. He doesn't remember anything except his death, but he seems to enjoy your company quite a lot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

When you and your family moved to the United States you thought things were going to change.  You thought you would leave them behind since you were pretty sure the reason for their appearances was Mexico. Mexico and it’s goddamn cult to death.

But you were wrong.

They still follow you around and they’re as creepy as ever. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t appear out of nowhere every time. Its like they’re doing it on purpose. They’ve turned your whole life into a constant haunted house.

But after seventeen years of having them around you’ve convinced yourself that all they want is peace and all they want  _from you_  is help. Nothing more.

They’re not here to hurt you like you believed for so many years after discovering  _they are able to touch you_. The first time it happened you peed your pants and you kept peeing your pants until you were twelve. Embarrassing memories you wish you could bleach out of your mind.

But things are slowly getting better.  _Very slowly_  though. They still make you jump when you turn your face and you see them standing there, staring at you with those blank eyes, sometimes with their guts out, sometimes with rope marks around their necks or bleeding wrists… They all died in different ways but they all have something in common: They have unfinished businesses, something that’s keeping them here.

And so you do your best to try to help them. They make you jump, yes, but you decided it was time to man up and talk to them. If they’re going to be chasing you your whole life, you might as well get used to it.

They all want something in the end.  _All of them_. 

 - - - 

At first you didn’t know what to make of it as you were staring at yourself in the bathroom mirror that morning. The sleeve of your shirt was soaking wet and it felt gross and uncomfortable, but how on earth did that happen? You don’t have leaks in your room, not that you know. Maybe you drooled in your sleep? You don’t really drool but that was probably it. Damn, that was a lot of drool too.

You wrinkled your nose in disgust and hurried to take off your shirt and toss it to the laundry basket under the sink. You had to get undressed anyway as you were soon leaving to school and a shower was in order. You turned the handles and waited for the water to be just at the right temperature before getting in. As the steam was building up in the room the shivers that kept running through your body stopped. Washington was a lot colder than Mexico and you had to get used to that. 

You finally got in the water and you started washing yourself like every day.

A few minutes passed and you were almost done, but as you were removing the soap from your face you gasped sharply and took a couple of steps back. 

Your body sure didn’t welcome the sudden change of temperature of the water from hot to _very cold_. You cleaned your eyes as much as you could and opened them to see what was going on. Your body was fully out of the water but you could still feel it splatter on your feet as it was crashing on the shower floor. It was  _freezing._

You stood still for a bit but then another little gasp escaped your lips as it hit your mind and you quickly turned to look around. 

There?

 _Right there?_  

This wasn’t the best time for you to talk, and anyway, you really couldn’t do anything being all wet and naked. 

Just the thought of it was giving you a feeling of pressure on your chest and your body started shivering again. It was getting really hard to breathe. Now you were scared. 

“Hello?” you asked timidly, mentally begging for no one to answer. 

You waited for a bit and it was like God had listened to your pleas, ‘cause no one did.  But just as you were finding some relief in that fact your brain gave you a new order that made the hair on the back of your neck stand.

 _It was telling you that maybe you should peek out the shower curtain_.

Considering that as an awful idea your body decided to reject it and paralyzed completely. With your hands clenched against your chest and your lips sealed in a straight line, only your eyes were twitching a bit, not wanting to look around anymore but being forced by your brain’s command.

Some time passed. How long? Who knows? It felt like ages to you. But as the bathroom clock kept ticking with every second your brain started telling you that you couldn’t stay like that forever. 

“ _You’re going to have to move some time.”_ It was telling you. “ _And if you don’t you’re going to be late for school.”_  

Finally you gasped again, like you were holding your breath all this time, and slowly started moving. Your joints creaked like old wooden doors when you lowered your arms and turned your head from side to side. First thing you did was reach out your hand to the water. It was hot again. For how long had it been like that?

You got under the shower again and finished washing yourself, letting the hot water relax your tense muscles.

You started questioning yourself about what just happened. Probably it had been nothing. Probably just the water heater turned off or something and papa hurried to turn it back on. You sighed deeply embracing that thought and felt a lot more relaxed, even your lips curved in a little smile. Seriously, stop being so paranoid. 

After you were done you turned off the shower handles and reached your hand out for your towel. A dare devil move, since apparently to your childish instinct the shower curtain was like a shield. You dried yourself fast inside the shower, you didn’t like walking out and dripping all over the floor, and once you were dry enough you wrapped the towel around your waist and ran the shower curtains to the side, vanishing your shield completely. But it was good. It was all good. 

Your eyes rolled around the bathroom just in case. No people standing there? Nope. No creepy writing on the mirror? Nope. Nothing out of it’s place? Nope.

You sighed deeply and smiled. So it had been the water heater after all. Good. 

You stepped out of the shower onto the rug, but as your eyes rolled down to make sure you were stepping in the right place your smile dropped and you paralyzed again.

Your feet were greeting a couple of water footprints on the floor facing towards you. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Have you seen  _it_?”

“Not yet.” 

Porrim Maryam kept staring at you for a bit while you two were walking to school together like you did every day.  Usually, she would fill the air with gossip and laughs but this time you were the center of attention and she just kept quiet. 

And how couldn’t she? The first thing she told you when she saw you was that your face was terribly pale. And you have to admit that the thrill was getting on your nerves like crazy. Every little movement out of the corner of your eye would make you turn your head so fast that Porrim was afraid you might hurt your neck. Nothing had happened since you got out of the shower but you could feel it.  _They_ were there.  _They_ were watching you. 

“Kanny, you need to relax.” She suggested after watching you flinch again at a cat jumping out a window. 

You gasped and sighed, turning your eyes back to the road.

“I’m fine,” you said, not even sure of your own words, “please don’t call me ‘Kanny’, Porrim.”

You heard her sigh softly and remained in silence again. She didn’t really know what to say to you when you were like this, or when you were in this kind of situation.  Sometimes you’d even wonder if she felt awkward around you. You wouldn’t blame her.  Anyone would consider you a freak. 

You flinched again at some people walking in front of you, but only then you realized you were already at the entrance of your school. You turned to look at Porrim in surprise and she looked back at you. 

“Feeling any better?” she asked furrowing her eyebrows a bit. Maybe she had thought that being in a crowded building would give you a feeling of security. 

“Not really.” You had to admit, but you took a deep breath to try to calm down once and for all. Classes were about to start and you couldn’t keep flinching over every little thing. 

“Well, let’s hurry, maybe you’ll feel better once you’re inside.” She said and grabbed your hand, pulling you gently through the school’s yard and into the building. 

She let go when you reached your lockers so both of you could take out the stuff you needed. As you opened your locker, you looked around once more. The hall was crowded, but everybody was minding their own business. None of them was just standing there looking at you with blank eyes.  You sighed in relief, and felt a little better. You didn’t even have the feeling of being watched anymore. 

As the day went on, it slowly drained out of your mind and you forgot about it eventually. The fact that you had to give a little speech in class helped a lot since you would always get submerged in your own words, and even lose track of the time. 

The wet footprints on the floor, or the feeling of being watched, didn’t cross your mind again until school was over. Specifically the moment when Porrim told you she couldn’t walk with you back home. 

“I’m sorry, Kanny, I promised Aranea I would help her chose a dress for prom after school…” she said while she was looking at you like a worried mother. 

“Oh,” you said simply, and immediately felt  _that_  pressure on your stomach, but you kept a straight face and tried to not let it show, “it’s alright, you girls go along.” 

“Will you be alright?”

“Yes. Porrim, I’m not a baby. I can walk home on my own.” 

Her emerald eyes stared at your brown ones, trying to look deep into them, like trying to dig out a secret. 

“Porrim, I’ll be fine. I’ve been seeing them all my life, I know how to deal with them,” you said, but once again you were unsure of your own words, “if  _they_  come around I’ll just talk to  _them_. See what  _they_  want.”

“Alright,” she said finally looking down for a bit, “but you take care.”

“I will, I promise. See you tomorrow, Porrim.” You waved your hand a bit and turned around, walking away fast before she could say anything else.

As you made your way to your home, the feeling of being watched returned and it was getting stronger and stronger with every step you took. You looked around several times but you never saw anyone, so it just kept building up to the point that it became suffocating. Both your heartbeat and breathing accelerated, your forehead got covered in little drops of sweat and once again, your nerves were on the edge. 

The way back home felt incredibly long and what’s worse is that it was completely quiet. It was  _too quiet_. There were no birds singing, there were no cats jumping out of windows, there was absolutely no one around, not even cars driving by.  

Breathing became a bigger challenge when you entered your neighborhood, and now it was not only the feeling of being watched, but also the feeling of being  _followed_.

 _“Don’t look over your shoulder,”_  you whispered to yourself and walked faster.  

You were so close to home you could see it in the distance.

_“Just a little bit more.”_

You started running the rest of the way and when you reached your doorstep, you tried to open the door quickly, but it was locked. You gasped, remembering papa was at work and Karkat didn’t get out of school until later, so you pulled your backpack to the front and started looking for your keys. 

You felt your heart pounding in your chest with every second that passed and you still couldn’t find your keys. But  _they_  were still there and you knew it.  _They_  were getting closer.

By the time you finally found them stuck under your books, you felt  _them_  now standing  _right behind you_. In a rush of panic you pulled your keys out so hard that you damaged your book and hurried to open the door. After finally getting it open, you rushed in fast and slammed the door after you.

You rested your back against the wood, trying to catch your breath and closing your eyes for a bit, wiping your forehead with the sleeves of your sweater. Slowly, you slid down until your butt touched the floor and you sat there only breathing and trying to calm down. It took you quite a while, but when you finally relaxed and found some peace, you opened your eyes and looked around. There was no one there. Everything was ok, and you couldn’t even feel  _their_  presence anymore. 

You frowned a bit, taking one last deep breath and stood up. You slowly opened the door again to see if  _they_  had left something behind like the footprints in your bathroom, but it wasn’t just a couple of footprints this time. For as far as your eyes could see, you saw a track of footprints on the ground reaching your porch and ending in a little puddle. 

Apparently  _they_  had been standing there for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

You didn’t feel  _their_  presence again for the rest of the day and you were glad. You were trying your hardest to keep your mind distracted, entertaining yourself with chores and homework, and even spent a few hours talking to Karkat as soon as he came home. 

He never liked hearing you talk about your things, so you asked him questions about him and especially that girl he liked and his weird best friend. He would be able to go on for hours on those subjects, so long as he wasn’t interrupted. Usually you do interrupt him, bad habit of yours, wanting to be a good big brother and giving him advice when he didn’t ask for it. But this time you let him talk while you prepared food in silence. 

You ate together, and then you offered to help him with his homework. Anything as long as you weren’t alone. 

\- - - 

Nighttime would always be an emotional challenge for you though. 

Papa would always be the first one to go to sleep, and then you would try to go to sleep at the same time as Karkat so you wouldn’t be left alone in your dark, silent house. 

But it was always the time between turning off the lights and finally falling asleep what would make you really tense. 

You knew tonight was going to be much worse, so you went to sleep a lot earlier, even before your father, saying that you had a killer headache and you needed some rest. 

As you were lying down on your bed with your eyes closed, you could hear Karkat and your father outside, walking around while getting ready to sleep. Suddenly you heard a thud outside your room that made you jump a bit. You rose to try to see what happened through the shadows underneath your door. 

“You ok?” you heard your papa’s voice. 

“Yeah, there’s just some water here, Kankri must’ve spilled it.” Your brother replied in a low grumpy tone and you felt your blood run cold through your veins. 

You flopped down on the bed again and fully covered yourself with the sheets, squeezing your eyes shut and trying to keep your breathing at pace. Sleeping now would be difficult knowing that  _they_  were back and  _they_  were probably in there with you. 

Time passed, your papa went to bed and Karkat kept walking around until he finally went to bed too. Then your whole house became dark and silent while you were still awake, something that was exactly what you wanted to avoid. You remained with your eyes closed and your sheets over your head, trying your best to fall asleep but at the same time waiting in silence for something to happen.  

But nothing was happening. 

There were no noises, there were no voices, and there wasn’t the highly expected feeling of wetness over your sheets since apparently this ghost had something to do with water. 

It was just dead silence. 

Then, after almost three hours, you finally fell asleep. 

\- - - 

You opened your eyes slowly and you saw nothing. Nothing at all. It was so dark that you could even swear your eyes were still closed.

You felt yourself falling really slowly while your partially open mouth was releasing the few last bubbles of air you had left in your lungs. 

You tried to breathe back in but you just drank water. Salty water. You tried to breathe again and more water came into your lungs.

_Then it hit you._

Your eyes opened really wide when you realized what was happening, and you started thrashing around desperately, trying to find somewhere to go, somewhere to move in this vast nothingness where there could be some air. In the meantime your mouth kept trying to take another breath and another, and another only to get filled with more and more water to the point that it was starting to make your insides hurt.

 _It was in that moment_  when you opened your eyes with a huge gasp and you started panting violently, the heaviest you’ve ever breathed in your life. 

You felt dizzy and confused. Then you realized you were lying on your bed, resting on your left side and facing towards your bedroom window. You had pushed your sheets off your head and now they were down near your hips. 

You sobbed for a bit, slowly catching your breath again, until a shiver ran up your spine and you froze. You had this tingling feeling on the back of your neck and  _you knew_  you had company. 

 _They_  were right there, right behind you. 

You tried to hold your breath, but after that nightmare, the best you could do was hold it in for a few seconds and then start panting again. 

 _‘Don’t look’,_ you told yourself mentally and shut your eyes closed.

Why? Why  _now_? This was the last thing you needed right now. 

_‘Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look…’_

Your heart took a wild tumble when you started to feel movement next to you on the bed.  _They_  were crawling closer and you had to bite your lip hard to avoid screaming. 

_‘Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look, don’t look…’_

You felt  _their_  wet hand touching your shoulder and you gasped sharply, squeezing your eyes shut as your body started shaking to the unpleasant feeling.  _Their_  hand was  _so cold_  and was dampening your sleeve. 

 _‘Don’t. No. Leave me alone. Please leave me alone. Go away. Please!’_  you started begging in your head and you weren’t sure you could keep your voice inside any longer as you started feeling little drops falling down on your neck and cheeks. 

It was when  _their_ cold dead lips brushed your ear when you finally cried out loud.

“Leave me alone!” you exclaimed with a shaky, broken voice. “Please, please leave… We’ll talk tomorrow. I promise.  _I swear_. I’ll help you. But please leave for now. Please…” 

You were actually surprised that worked because any advances from  _them_  ceased completely and after a few seconds  _they_  even moved back. You felt _their_  body leave your bed and you sighed in relief, still panting a bit but feeling just a little more calm. Eventually you couldn’t feel  _their_ presence anymore and you dared to turn around. Not only your sleeve was wet now, your mattress and sheets were soaking as well. You tried to move to the opposite edge as much as you could and closed your eyes again, trying to go back to sleep after all this, but naturally you couldn’t.


	4. Chapter 4

“Kanny.” 

You opened your eyes heavily when you heard your name and slowly raised your head to look at Porrim standing in front of you. 

“You didn’t sleep well?” she asked looking at you like a worried mother once more. 

“No…” you replied with a sore voice, closing your eyes again for a second and resting your forehead down on your hands. 

“Nightmares again?” 

“Yeah. And a visit.” 

Her eyes widened a bit while you leaned up and looked at her, yawning and sniffling softly. She stared at you in silence for a bit, and then furrowed her eyebrows. 

“You talked to  _them_?” 

“Not really,” you replied turning your head to the window, “I just asked _them_ to leave.” 

Once again, you both remained silent and you blinked slowly a couple of times. 

They hadn’t come around again. You were actually surprised. Not even footprints on the bathroom floor that morning. 

“Weren’t you supposed to - ?” 

“I told _them_ to come back today and then we would talk,” you interrupted her turning to look at her again and then looked down at your desk, “but I haven’t seen  _them_  all day. Not even a sign that  _they_  might be around.” 

She sighed softly and crossed her arms under her breasts, thinking carefully what to tell you. 

“Maybe  _they_  left?” 

“I hope  _they_ didn’t,” you admitted feeling a little pressure on your chest, “ _they_  freaked me out a lot yesterday, but a lost soul is a lost soul. I hope  _they_  come back so I can help _them_  cross.” 

She nodded in understanding and reached her hand down to gently brush your arm with her fingertips. 

“Come on, Kanny, it’s time for lunch.” 

 - - -  

As the day went on you couldn’t take your mind off the events from the previous day. School was almost over and since  _they_  hadn’t come around yet, you started wondering if it had been your  _“Leave me alone!”_  what made  _them_  desist. The more you’d think about it, the worse it’d make you feel. At this point focusing in class what practically impossible. 

During your last class your eyes were completely unfocused, staring though the glass of the window into the school grounds. Your teacher’s voice was a muffled sound in the background as your mind kept wondering if there was something you could do to bring  _them_  back. After a while you sighed and raised your hand to get your teacher’s attention, having to interrupt him for a bit. 

“May I go to the bathroom?” you asked to which he replied with a nod before continuing the class. 

You stood up and walked out of the door. Luckily, everyone else was in class so the hallways were empty. You walked away from the classrooms and when you started wandering around the library you took a deep breath and looked around, making sure you were completely alone before you started talking.   

“Hey. Listen, I’m sorry…” you said into the air, not too loudly but loud enough to be heard at a short distance, “I’m sorry yesterday I avoided you so much. I’m still not quite used to this…” 

You paused for a bit, looking everywhere to see if anything was happening. 

“I’m willing to talk now though,” you continued, “so if you please come back… I would like to help you cross to the other side.” 

You remained silent again waiting for something but still there was nothing. 

“Please?” 

You stood in your place for a few more seconds and then you sighed deeply, dropping your shoulders and feeling both disappointed and guilty at the same time. You looked around once last time before starting to make your way back to your classroom with your arms crossed tight against your chest and your head down.

\- - - 

You didn’t quite forget about the issue at hand but you tried at least to get it out of your mind. What’s done was done and you didn’t know how to undo it. You tried calling  _them_ , but you never really knew, or wondered, how you could bring a ghost back. 

When school was over, you asked Porrim to let you walk back home alone in case _they_ wanted to return, but no watery footsteps followed you to your porch this time. 

Once at home, you tried to be alone most of the time. You didn’t even dine with your family; you took your food upstairs telling your papa and brother that you had to study for an important exam. 

You waited the rest of the day and still, nothing happened. 

At night you went to bed at the same time as your brother, like usual, and this time you didn’t have problem sleeping at all. In fact, you fell asleep rather fast. 

\- - -  

Around 3:10am your eyelids started twitching. Then your head followed and then your limbs.  You started kicking the sheets off from you and by 3:11 you were tossing and turning in your bed, your whole body getting tense and your eyebrows pressed together in a deep frown. It was getting a bit more violent when at 3:12am you finally opened your eyes with a huge gasp. 

You clung to the pillow next to you like your life depended on it, panting heavily, just like you did last night.  

It was that nightmare again, the same  _goddamn_ nightmare. 

You rolled on your back, letting your arms flop heavily to the sides and stared into the dark blue ceiling while you were still trying hard to catch your breath. 

After a while when your breathing started to slow down, you felt  _that_  cold shiver you were expecting run though your spine. As always it made you extremely uneasy, but this time you forced yourself to stay calm before you started freaking out. 

You closed your eyes for a bit, trying to embrace the tiny feelings of relief and gladness before they would sink among the fear and jitters. 

You couldn’t mess this up again; _their_ peace relied on you.  _It was time._  

Still with your eyes closed you took one last deep breath and you leaned up, sitting on your bed. Your hands blindly searched to grip the sheets tightly and you pulled them against your chest, like they could offer you some sort of protection. 

You started opening your eyes really slowly, deciding that it would be best to first look at the mattress and then raise your gaze on  _them_ , since you didn’t know in which condition  _their_ body was and it could be a  _really disturbing_ sight.    

When the image through your partially open eyes started to get a bit clearer, you could see they were standing at the foot of your bed. You slowly started to move your eyes up and there were two things you noticed right away: one, it was a guy; and two, just like you imagined, his body was soaking wet. 

Your eyes finally reached his face and your lips escaped a breathless gasp. You felt goose bumps run through your body and you clung tighter to the sheets, but you forced yourself to not turn your gaze away. 

He was looking right at you with a blank expression and standing completely still. He almost looked like a mannequin.  _A really creepy mannequin._  

You both kept staring at each other’s eyes in silence for a couple of seconds until you finally swallowed and breathed, opening your mouth to talk. 

“What’s your name?” you asked softly. 

He kept staring at you silently and it was  _really_  unnerving, but you kept looking at him, waiting patiently for his answer or some kind of response. 

“Cronus.” He finally replied. His voice sounded odd, like it had a wet, choked, quality to it, but it was deep. 

You nodded softly in understanding and swallowed a bit again. 

“And your last name?” 

While he took his time to reply again, you broke the eye contact just for a bit. His pale skin tainted in shades of blue and purple was really distracting, especially his purple lips and the way his black hair framed the dark rings around his eyes. You had never seen a drowned person before. 

“I’m not sure.” 

Your eyes went back to his eyes again and you shook your head softly. 

“Alright, doesn’t matter… How can I help you, Cronus?” 

Finally his blank expression changed to one of confusion, tilting his head a bit like a dog. 

“With what?” 

Now you were the one to stare at him for a bit in silence. You weren’t really expecting that answer. 

“You know… Cross to the other side.”  You said calmly. 

He didn’t say anything right away and he was delaying a bit more than the previous times, so you frowned with a worried expression and decided to continue with caution. 

“You know you are…?” you started asking but didn’t finish your own question. You were thinking of a way to put it that wouldn’t sound so bad. 

“Dead? Yes, I figured,” he replied quickly to your surprise, “It got a little hard to breathe.” 

You nodded and bit your lip softly, releasing a sigh knowing that things would be easier. 

“So how can I help you find peace and cross to the other side?” you insisted, slowly and unconsciously loosening your grip on the bed sheets. 

“I don’t know.” 

“You don’t…?” you asked and furrowed your eyebrows a bit, “Then why are you here?” 

“I was feeling lonely.” 

“…  _Lonely?_ ” 

He nodded. 

“I’ve been wandering around for a while but no one can see me or hear me except you.” 

You frowned more in extreme confusion and shook your head a bit. 

“Wait, so you came looking for me because  _you_   _were lonely_.” You concluded. 

“Yes.” 

“But what about your unfinished business? I need to know what’s your unfinished business so I can help you cross to the other side.” 

“My ‘unfinished business’?” he asked raising an eyebrow and it only made you feel more confused. 

“Yeah! You know. What’s  _keeping you here_. Whatever it is that’s not letting you rest in peace.” 

You both stayed silent, only staring at each other for a moment. 

“I don’t know.” He finally said. 

You raised your eyebrows not sure what to make of all this. You had  _never_  encountered a ghost that didn’t know what he wanted or needed to rest in peace; you didn’t even know that was possible. Souls that didn’t have any unfinished businesses would cross right away to the other side. 

But  _this guy_  neither had crossed, nor seemed to know what he had pending. 

“Alright…” you finally said shaking your head and rubbing your eyes with your fingers. “We  _will_  figure out what’s not letting you rest in peace and then we’ll do something about it. I promise… But for now I need to go back to sleep. I can’t do anything for you right now and I’ve got school tomorrow morning, so…” 

You looked up at him and he nodded in understanding. 

“Can I keep you company?” he asked. 

You bit your lip feeling extremely uncomfortable but you didn’t want to dismiss him just like that, specially not after he told you he was feeling lonely. 

As a troubled soul following you, you would keep having nightmares about his death as long as he felt uneasy, so it was better to keep him happy as much as you could if you wanted to have some rest.    

“Yeah, sure.” You answered forcing a little smile.  

He smiled back.


	5. Chapter 5

Your alarm went off at exactly 7:00 am and your hand stretched out to turn it off. You groaned tiredly and frowned, refusing to open your eyes, and buried your face in the pillow again to go back to sleep. It was the second night that you didn’t get enough rest and your body was starting to feel it. 

You were slowly falling back asleep when you felt something cold and wet touch you ear, brushing your hair gently. 

You jumped and moved immediately to the other side of the bed, your sleepiness draining away completely as your heart pounded in your chest. You saw Cronus next to the bed, looking at you with his eyebrows raised. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” He said worriedly. 

The moment your mind remembered him and remembered the conversation you had in the early morning, you closed your eyes and took a few of seconds to try to ease yourself. You took a couple deep breaths and rubbed your hands against your face. 

“Ok, number one,” you started to say sounding upset, raising your face to look at him with a frown, “ _Don’t touch me._  Don’t  _ever_  touch me again.  _Ever._ ” 

He furrowed his eyebrows and his purple lips curved down a bit in a little pout. 

“I’m sorry…” 

“Number two,” you continued ignoring his expression and kneeled on the bed, “Wait- for how long have you been here?” 

“Since… we talked?” he answered hesitating a bit. 

You frowned more and released a little growl. 

“Alright, number two:  _Don’t stalk me_ like that. If you want to come around every once in a while,  _fine_. But I hope you understand how extremely uncomfortable it makes me to have you standing there, looking at me while I sleep! Or while I take a shower! Not to mention that it’s a complete invasion of privacy  _and_  it’s disturbing  _and_ creepy!” 

He pouted a bit more and looked down like a kid getting scolded by his mom. 

“Sorry chief, I really didn’t mean to. I just…” he interrupted himself and didn’t finish his sentence. He just kept looking down in silence. 

You sighed softly, trying to calm your anger and stood up from the bed. 

“I will leave if you want me to…” you heard him say and you looked up to him. 

He looked really sad and aggrieved, you almost felt bad for him. In fact, you _did_  feel bad for him. Surely he couldn’t have asked to stay on this side to wander around the world alone. You had to keep in mind that he was a tormented soul and he needed help.  _He needed you._  

“No, don’t. It’s ok,” you said in a much more gentle tone, “I’m sorry I flipped out at you. I should be more considerate of your situation.” 

He raised his dead eyes to you and you both exchanged looks for a bit. Then you cleared your throat and looked away. 

“But still, try not to follow me around all the time please. I would appreciate some privacy.” 

“I understand.” He said and you looked at him again, offering him a little smile as a quiet ‘thanks’. 

You sighed softly after all this and turned to look at your digital clock. 

“Alright, I got to get ready for school.” You said as you surrounded your bed, but you didn’t take more than three steps when your foot landed on a puddle of water on the floor with a little splash. 

You looked down at your bedroom floor and your jaw dropped a bit. All the area around your bed was covered in puddles, and there were some footprints on other parts of your bedroom. Apparently Cronus had been walking around, but mostly just standing by your side watching you sleep. 

“Oh my God,” you said and tried not to broach that subject again, but instead focus on the new issue at hand, “We’re gonna have to do something about your dripping problem.” 

\- - - 

 “Cronus? Like the Greek God?” Porrim asked you while you two were walking to school together. 

Cronus had disappeared ever since you got in the shower and it was fine, he gave you the promised privacy. 

“Yes, I believe,” you said pulling your backpack up your shoulder a bit more, “and he seems rather young too, maybe around our age or a bit older.” 

“You think he went to school with us?” 

You shook your head. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t remember seeing him before.” 

You looked around for a bit to see if he had return yet but there were no signs of him. Porrim noticed you and looked at you a bit nervously. 

“Is he here?” she asked. 

“No,” you responded and looked back to the road, “he hasn’t come around since I showered this morning, which is perfectly fine. I’m sure he’ll come around again later.” 

“And what does he want? How can you help him cross?” 

You sighed softly remaining in silence for a bit and then shrugged. 

“I don’t know.  _He_  doesn’t know.  I asked him but he seems to have some kind of amnesia. He can’t even remember his last name, much less remember anything about his life and therefore whatever is keeping him here.” 

She frowned to you seeming a bit confused, maybe as confused as you were. 

“So why is he following you around?” 

“He’s lonely.” 

\- - - 

You thought focusing in class would be a lot easier now that you finally talked to Cronus, but now there was another topic rolling around in your head. As you looked out of the window, your mind was trying to come up with a way to find out more about this guy. Your eyes narrowed a bit, retracing the conversation you had with Porrim on your way to school. 

_‘You think he went to school with us?’_

_‘I don’t know but I don’t remember seeing him before.’_  

You really didn’t remember seeing him before, but maybe Porrim was right. Maybe he went to school with you, and if so, that would make it a lot easier to find out who he was. 

When lunchtime came, you were the first one to stand up from your place and walked out of the classroom. You saw Porrim walking towards you, intending to meet up with you like everyday, and she waved. 

“Hey, Kanny!” you heard her say and caught up with her, but since you didn’t stop, she started to walk fast by your side. 

“I’m not gonna get lunch, Porrim, I’m heading to the Principal’s office.” You told her. 

“The Principal’s office?” she asked. 

“Go have lunch with Aranea, you girls need some time alone.” You looked at her and smiled and you saw her blush a bit before you started walking faster. 

Once you reached the office you knocked before entering and approached the Principal’s secretary’s desk. 

“Good morning…” you greeted the middle age lady and she looked up at your through her thin glasses. 

“Good morning.” She greeted back with a little smile and kept staring at you, silently asking what you needed. 

“I, uh…” you hesitated a bit, thinking for a bit of a way to put it. “I wanted to ask something… about a student?” 

She nodded in understanding and you nodded back. 

“Yeah,” you continued, “Do we…. or  _did_ … Did we have a student named Cronus?” 

She raised her eyebrows a bit and started to look in her computer. 

“I don’t know sweetheart, doesn’t sound familiar,” she said as her fingers tapped on the keyboard, “What’s his last name?” 

“Ah, I don’t know,” you said shrugging with a light chuckle, “That’s why I’m asking if, um… he ever studied here. I kind of need to know what his last name is.” 

“Cronus…” she repeated the name to herself and after a bit she shook her head, “No, love. I can’t find anyone named Cronus in our records, sorry.” 

You sighed feeling extremely disappointed and looked down, even though you should’ve expected that. 

“Alright, thanks.” You said weakly, forcing a smile at her and tapping the desk a bit with your thumb. She looked at you and smiled sadly to your reaction but before you could turn to walk away she smiled a bit more, a curious glint in her eye. 

“Why? Is he your crush?” 

That question took you completely by surprise and you could feel your blood running up your neck and clouding up in your face. 

“No!” you hurried to say but she kept smiling as she noticed you get all flustered, “No, he’s just some guy I met and now I…. need to know his name…” you tried to explain but as the words were leaving your mouth your realized they weren’t helping at all. 

She chuckled in a teasing way and smiled wider, nodding. 

“Alright, I understand.” She said and you bit your lip resisting the temptation to tell her  _‘I don’t think you do, lady’_. 

“Good luck finding your boy.” She winked at you and went back to her own business. 


	6. Chapter 6

As you made your way to the cafeteria you sighed several times, trying to shake off the feeling of awkwardness that the little visit to the Principal’s office left you. That had been _quite_ the accusation. This lady needed to watch her mouth, or her imprudence could trigger someone. It had certainly triggered you. 

You shook your head a bit, forcing your mind to leave the subject behind and focus on the fact that, aside from the awkward feeling, that little visit gave you nothing. 

Cronus didn’t go to the same high school as you, so now you were completely lost as to where should you start looking for more information about him. After brief contemplation as you reached the cafeteria, you knew the best thing you could do for now was ask Cronus more questions, and maybe even force him to remember some things. 

\- - - 

For once, you were finally able to focus on your classes, even if they were the last ones you had that day. You really couldn’t think any further about Cronus or his business without having the answers you needed first. Besides, this was your favorite class. 

After a while of writing an essay on your notebook, you got so emerged in it, that you became completely oblivious to the world around you. You were totally over-doing it, like always, writing way more than you needed to, and getting lost in your own words. It was when a little drop of water landed on your notes when you were dragged out of your thoughts and looked up to see where that came from. 

The sight of Cronus’ dead eyes right on you made you jump a bit. You didn’t show much of a reaction, but you felt your blood draining from your face and your heart starting to beat faster. You covered your eyes tilting your head down, becoming now fully aware of your surroundings and your reality.

“Don’t do that…” you whispered to him in the most quiet voice while rubbing your eyes with your fingers. 

“Sorry…” you heard his voice responding in a low, cheerless tone. Apparently he was aware that accidentally scaring you had become a frequent thing. 

You sighed softly and removed the hand from your eyes to look at him and then looked around, making sure no one had noticed the little incident. The classroom was too silent to continue a private conversation with Cronus, even if you kept whispering. 

You turned the pages of your notebook to the last page and wrote down. 

 _“I need to speak with you.”_   

You showed Cronus what you just wrote and after reading it he nodded. 

“Right now?” he asked you and you shook your head, writing down again. 

 _“After school. Come find me when I get home.”_  

He read and nodded again. 

“Alright. Guess I should leave for now then.” 

_“Yes, please.”_

_\- - -_

You politely requested Porrim to let you walk home alone again. 

“I need some time to think.” You told her. 

At first she seemed offended that you were avoiding her company so much, but she tried her best to understand your situation. 

“I just hope you won’t keep pushing me away after you’ve helped this guy cross to the other side.” She said with her arms crossed and her brow pressing down in a little frown. 

“That’s not gonna happen, Porrim, and you know it. I’ve always come back to you and you know I always will do so no matter what.” 

She smiled and tapped your nose playfully. 

“Alright, you better.” 

You frowned a bit and rubbed your nose, responding, as she expected, with a  _“Don’t touch me.”_

\- - -  

Your papa and brother weren’t home again by the time you arrived. You opened the door and the very second you closed it, you felt his presence behind you. 

“You wanted to talk?” you heard his voice and turned to face him. 

“Yes, I most certainly do.” You nodded and started walking to your room, hoping that he would follow, which he did. 

When you both arrived, you closed the door and dropped your backpack softly on the floor next to your bed. 

“I have several questions to ask you…” You said, taking a seat on your bed and he stood in front of you. 

“Alright, I’ll try to answer them.” He said frowning a bit, looking a bit insecure. 

“First of all, do you remember your last name now?” 

He shook his head. 

“Do you remember anything at all? Your family? Your house? Your school…?” 

He shook his head again and looked down. 

“Sorry, boss.” 

You sighed softly rubbing your forehead for a bit trying to think of something. You were really hoping he had anything by now. 

“Do you remember anything at all?” you asked shrugging.  

You noticed him get a bit uncomfortable by the question. He looked away and started walking really slowly across the room, sliding his hands in the wet pockets of his jeans. 

“I remember dying.” He said with a gloomy voice. “That’s all I remember.” 

You stared at him for a bit in silence and thought about your next question very carefully before opening your mouth. 

“What happened to you? I mean…” 

“I drowned.” 

“Well, yes, I uh… I figured…” you said furrowing your eyebrows a bit, hoping you weren’t being too harsh, “but more specifically,  _how_  did it happen?  _Why_? And also… do you remember where?” 

He turned his back on you for a moment, looking really bothered by all this and you even felt his change of mood in your skin. Your body shivered a bit and you got goosebumps. 

“I don’t… No… I don’t know…” he said with a shaky voice and coughed some. “I don’t remember how it happened or why. All I remember is that it was dark… and deep… and cold, very cold…” 

You furrowed your eyebrows a bit and looked down, not sure how to proceed now, until you heard him starting to cough a bit more violently. You raised your eyes to him to see him lean on your dresser and start coughing out water, getting everything you had on it wet, though that didn’t really matter to you now. You stood up by mere impulse and approached him from behind. Though at first you hesitated a bit, you placed a hand on his back and rubbed it, trying to offer him some comfort as anything else you could try to do would be useless. He was a ghost after all. He was already dead. 

It wasn’t something nice to see and it took a while, but once his hacking started dying down, his body trembled a couple of times in spasms and he started to relax. You bit your lip, still rubbing his back and you were a little surprised to hear him chuckle. 

“That feels nice.” He said turning his head to you a bit. He still had some water running from his mouth and dripping down his chin and neck. 

“Are you…alright?” you considered it polite asking, though the question seemed stupid. 

“I am now. A bit more relieved at least.” He said and closed his eyes enjoying your back rubs.  After a while you stopped, not wishing to keep the physical contact no matter how much he was enjoying it, and you moved back returning to sit on the bed. 

“I’m glad.” You said, not knowing what else to say for now. Your eyes unfocused on the floor while you were trying to come up with something to say and he turned to you, walking closer and stepping by your side, cleaning his chin and neck with his hand. 

“So basically all you remember about yourself is… your death.” You concluded looking up at him and he stopped smiling. 

“Yeah.” He responded, watching you. 

You remained in silence a while, just staring into his dead eyes until your lips opened to ask a question you didn’t really think about. 

“Did it…? Um…” 

“Hurt? Yes it did,” he interrupted you taking a hand to his chest, “Lungs aren’t supposed to be filled with water, trust me… It is more horrible than you could ever imagine. It’s nothing but pure pain and despair.” 

Your stomach ached like you just received a punch to it, and you stared at him in silence, regretting even asking that. 

“I’m sorry…” 

“It’s ok, don’t worry.” 

You looked down at the floor, not knowing what else to say. You had asked enough questions for now, even made him revive those terrible memories, and your mind was now playing tricks on you. It was trying to bring back your nightmares, trying to remember how it felt, trying to empathize with him. 

“Hey,” You heard his voice and instantly saw him kneeling in front of you, looking for your eyes with his gaze, “it’s fine, ok? Don’t feel bad about asking these kind of questions, I know you’re trying to help me and I appreciate it. Alright?” 

He reached out and took your hands, caressing them softly with his thumb. They were cold and wet as ever and your heart pounded a bit in your chest, your natural reaction to ghosts having physical contact with you, but adding to that feeling, your mind instantly took you back to your little visit to the Principal’s office. You knew the lady’s words weren’t true, and there was  _no way in heaven_  you would  _ever_ develop a crush on a dead person, but regardless, your cheeks were still blushing lightly and it made you turn your gaze away, slipping your hands out of his grip quickly, and crossing your arms over your stomach to put them out of his reach. 

“I told you not to touch me ever again…” you reminded him with a low voice, feeling extremely awkward like you had in the office. 

He stared at you, losing the smile on his lips, then he nodded and looked down while standing up. 

“Alright, I’m sorry.” You heard him say and he moved back. 

You kept looking away for a bit trying to calm yourself down, and when you turned your face again to tell him something, he was already gone.


	7. Chapter 7

_“Kankri… Kankri!”_  

You flinched, and quickly opened you eyes after hearing your name being called in the cold and suffocating darkness. You looked around and you realized you were in your classroom. All your classmates were staring at you and your teacher was standing near you with his book in his hand and a worried expression on his face. 

You leaned up quickly panting a bit and you ran a hand through your hair. 

“I’m sorry…” you apologized to your teacher for falling asleep in his class and he shook his head a bit. 

“No, it’s fine. Are you ok? You seemed quite disturbed there…” he asked in a faint fatherly tone. 

“Yeah,” you responded right away, turning to look at your classmates real quick and back to your teacher. “Yeah, I’m fine… I’m sorry…” 

He nodded in understanding and turned around to return to the front and continue his class. 

You took your hands to your face and rubbed it a bit closing your eyes and breathed deeply. 

The same nightmare had been haunting your sleep for the past three nights, the same amount of days Cronus had been missing.  Ever since he disappeared after having that conversation in your room, you hadn’t seen him again. Friday went by and then the weekend, in which you decided to stay at home, locked in your room and waiting for him to come.  You called his name several times but he never responded. It was like he was completely gone. But you knew he was still around ‘cause you still couldn’t rest well at night.   

You took another deep breath and removed the hands from your face, looking down to avoid the eyes of some of your classmates that were still staring at you, but as you did so, you noticed a little shine on the floor. You peeked over the edge of your desk and noticed a pool of water next to your feet. You looked up quickly to your teacher and raised your hand to call his attention. 

“Sir! Can I, uh…” you looked around and though of something to say that was more convincing than saying you had a headache and you needed to go to the infirmary, “Can I go to the bathroom for a bit? I need to clear my head.” 

Your teacher, starting to look a little annoyed by the constant interruptions, nodded and pointed to the door with his hand. You quickly stood up and walked to the door, trying not to step on the puddle. 

“Thank you, sorry.” You said to him as you walked in front of him and left the classroom, walking fast through the hallways to someplace with more privacy. You stopped when you reached the awards hall. Aside from when they cleaned the trophies, no one ever came around there. 

“Cronus, I need to have a word with you.” You said, gently laying your back against the glass and waited for an answer. 

After a while, you looked around, noticing that he didn’t respond your call again and you sighed, tilting your head back softly against the glass. 

“Cronus.” You insisted. 

This time you felt the familiar little tingle in the back of your neck and you looked down. He was now standing in front of you with his arms hanging heavily at his sides and dripping more water than ever. He looked like he just came out of a pool. His expression was stiff and empty, but his eyes seemed a bit troubled. 

You both stared at each other like you always do, and then you finally released another sigh. 

“Where have you been?” you asked him calmly. 

“Around.” He answered with his deep voice. He was definitely a lot less cheerful this time. 

“Not anywhere I can see you,” you said, getting up and taking a couple of steps towards him. 

He kept staring at you and then raised an eyebrow with a shrug. 

“I figured you didn’t want to see me again.” 

“What?” you asked frowning a bit seeming confused. “I just asked you to not touch me again, why are you making assumptions?” 

He kept staring at you in silence for a bit, then he crossed his arms over his chest and looked away. 

You raised your eyebrows to his reaction, not sure what to make of it. 

“Did I offend you?” 

“Yeah, you actually did.” He responded looking back at you with a frown. 

Your jaw dropped a bit, not believing what you were hearing. 

“ _How?_  You were the one who touched me without my consent.  _I_  should be the one offended here.” 

He scoffed and looked away again, shaking his head. You frowned starting to feel a bit upset for his reactions and walked closer to him. 

“What is  _that_  supposed to mean?” 

“Nothing, forget it.” 

“No, no, I would actually like to know! I want to know how  _exactly_  I offended you with such a simple polite request?” 

“It wasn’t polite.” 

“Yes, it was.” 

“No, it wasn’t. You were practically like ‘don’t ever fucking touch me again.’ ” 

“I didn’t swear.” 

“Whatever! The fact remains, you rejected me.” 

You stared at him for a bit and frowned more, trying to keep it calm though it was hard with him having this kind of attitude. 

“Cronus, I get triggered by being touched by ghosts. If you think this is something personal against you, it isn’t.” 

“I was just holding your hands.” 

You sighed deeply and took a few seconds to ease yourself, rubbing between your eyes with your fingers. 

“The first time a ghost touched me was when I was six years old. I got so scared that I peed myself. It was embarrassing. And terrifying… It scarred me for life, and for the next six years, that same experience kept repeating itself until I turned twelve. Ever since then, I don’t like ghosts having physical contact with me.” You tried to explain to him in the calmest way possible, looking up at him right onto his eyes. 

He stared at you for a bit, then his eyes slowly moved down. 

“Alright, I’m sorry,” he said and you smiled, glad that he finally got your point, but then he looked up at you again with the deepest gaze you’ve ever seen in him, “But I like touching you… It feels nice. Feels warm…”

He reached down taking your hand gently and your heart jumped a bit, but you stood still, letting him have it his way for now. He raised your hand and placed it on his wet cheek, holding it there with his own and closing his eyes. 

 “I’m sorry, but I missed the touch of another person…” he said nuzzling into your palm a bit. 

You gulped softly, feeling your heartbeat racing but you tried to ignore it. Then slowly you took your other hand to his other cheek and cupped his face in your hands, caressing his cold skin softly with your thumbs. 

He kept his eyes closed and smiled really wide and sweetly, placing both of his hands over yours and caressing yours too with his fingertips. 

You stared at his expression with your lips pressed tight together. Your instinct was telling you to pull away but that expression on his face was just worth resisting a bit longer. Beyond his pale skin and the dark rings around his eyes that gave him his tormented soul appearance, he looked so peaceful. 

After a while he opened his eyes and looked deeply into yours, making some blood cloud up in your cheeks. 

“Is it really that bad?” he asked with a smooth voice. 

You sucked on your lower lip for a bit and then shook your head lightly. 

“I…I guess not.” You responded not sounding completely convinced, but still didn’t pull away. 

He smiled warmly and you felt your face getting hotter. It was getting hard to keep staring into his dead eyes so you looked away. 

“My fingers are getting numb…” you said and finally pulled away, not lying completely since it was like touching a block of ice. 

He chuckled and let go off your hands. 

“I get it, I’m sorry.” He said and you pulled the sleeves of your red sweater over your hands to warm them. You crossed your arms over your chest with your hands under your armpits and you looked up at him again, trying to think of something to say fast to break the awkward silence. 

“Don’t get lost again, ok? I want you where I can see you.” 

He smiled and nodded, seeming _really_  happy. 

“Alright, you got it, boss.”


	8. Chapter 8

You had to admit that if it weren’t for his constant dripping problem, Cronus would be good company. Actually, never mind, he was still good company. 

He had been with you for almost a week now and you were both slowly starting to get used to each other. He would come around whenever you were alone, but still gave you privacy when you needed it. And you were little by little getting used to him touching you even though he kept, and you appreciated it, the physical contact to a minimum. But you had to admit it was quite endearing to see him smile so widely whenever you’d caress his cheek or hold his hand. He was almost like a cute, giant, wet puppy. 

Maybe because of that you hadn’t really done anything to help him with his unfinished business. It actually skipped your mind for most of the week until the weekend came and it got around your head again. More specifically, after Karkat slipped again on one of Cronus’ puddles and you had to blame it on yourself. How could you tell your brother there was a ghost walking around the house? 

\- - -  

You were laying down comfortably in the tub, with your head resting on the edge and your eyes staring at the ceiling. You usually preferred showers because they were a lot faster, but you thought a hot bath would be best to help you clear your head. Plus it was Saturday; you didn’t have to go anywhere. 

You were trying to think of what to do.  Cronus still didn’t remember anything, but it wasn’t like he  _wanted_  to remember either. He didn’t seem _troubled_ anymore. It didn’t seem like he wanted to leave at all and rest in peace. But a misguided soul was a misguided soul and  _he didn’t belong here._ Not anymore. 

You sighed cheerlessly, closing your eyes and sinking a bit more in the water. Thinking about everything was almost bittersweet. You  _wanted_ to help him cross, you knew you  _had to_ , but somehow another part of you wanted him to stay. You frowned, scolding yourself mentally for being so selfish and forcing yourself to push that thought away from your mind. 

“You’re taking quite a while, you know?” 

Your eyes opened widely and you looked down to find Cronus right in front of you, _inside_  the bathtub with you. 

“Cronus!” you squealed, and tried to move back, only achieving slipping in the tub and sinking more. You felt your face getting hotter than the water, and your heart started pounding in your chest, becoming a nervous mess. And how couldn’t you? He was  _right there_ between your legs, smirking like a smug bastard and so close he could almost touch your nose with his. Not to mention that you were completely naked under the thin film of bubbles on the surface of the water. 

“I was starting to get worried that you might have suffered the same fate as I had…” he said, but still with that stupid smirk on his face. He was obviously enjoying this. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked alarmed, holding onto the edges of the tub and trying to move back again, “This is quite triggering, you know!” 

He chuckled and moved closer to you, only making you even more nervous. 

“Yeah, yeah, you and your little ‘triggers’. It’s so cute.” 

You gasped, and felt your heart beating fast in your chest, curling your toes under the water and tried to close your legs, but his body was in the way.   

“Cronus…” you gritted out his name, forcing yourself to not look away out of nerves and bit your lip. 

“So what’s keeping you here, chief? I even started missing you; you’ve been gone for more than half an hour.” 

He moved a bit closer and you had to place your hands on his shoulders to stop him, gripping his shirt tight. 

“Cronus, I find this  _extremely_  triggering! Could you  _please_  stop?” you cried with a shaky voice and your face almost as red as your old sweater. 

To your surprise he did stop, and even stopped smirking. 

“Oh… Am I taking this too far?” he asked moving back and looking a little worried now, “Sorry chief, I didn’t mean to…” 

You sighed in relief and sat properly in the tub, closing your legs and hugging your knees a bit. 

“What are you doing here, Cronus? What did I tell you about privacy?” you said a bit more calmly, frowning to him. 

“Well you were taking too long, so I _did_ get a little worried.” He explained shrugging and pushing himself to the other side of the tub. 

You sighed again, a little deeper, and looked down at the bubbles. 

“I was just… thinking. How could I help you cross to the other side.” 

His face dropped completely and he looked down at the bubbles too with a blank expression. 

“Oh…” was all he said and you raised your eyes at him. 

“ ‘Oh…’? ” you repeated raising an eyebrow, “Cronus, aren’t you curious about what happened to you? About who you are, or were, and why you are here?” 

He remained in silence for a bit, only splashing his hand nervously on the water. 

“I am, yes… But at the same time I’m scared.” 

“Scared?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows and he nodded, “of what?” 

“I’m scared that… if I find out about myself and all, I will have to leave… I don’t wanna leave. I don’t wanna be alone again.” 

You stared at him for a bit in silence and then shook your head. 

“Um, no. You won’t be,” you said and he turned his eyes up at you, “You’ll be ok. You will be happy.” 

“How do you know for sure?” he asked and you raised your eyebrows. 

“Well…  _I don’t,_  not for sure…” you said hesitating a bit, “but I’ve seen other ghosts leave and they seem happy ‘cause they’ll finally be able to rest in peace.” 

He kept staring at you in silence and you stared back at him for a bit. Then you tried to offer him a comforting smile. 

“It will be ok, I promise. It’s for your own good.” 

He didn’t say anything this time, just kept staring at you with that blank expression. He didn’t believe you, or he didn’t want to believe you. Either way it wasn’t making him happy at all. 

You were trying to come up with something else to say, but after a few seconds he looked away and crawled out of the bathtub, getting water all over the bathroom floor, and disappeared.

\- - -  

After a long exhausting hour of having to mop your bathroom and get dressed, you found yourself sitting at your desk with the computer screen shining in your eyes. 

You really weren’t expecting to find a full article with many details, but you weren’t expecting to find  _nothing_ either.  There were no old news, no articles, not even names. 

You sighed, flopping back on your desk’s chair, tapping the edge of your laptop softly with your fingers while your eyes were staring at the Google search bar. There were no useful results for  _“Drowned people in Washington”_  or anything similar to that. There didn’t even seem to be any records. 

You had been looking for quite a while, and at to this point you were about to give up looking, but your head kept trying to find a solution. 

After a while it finally struck you. 

 _You knew_  Cronus had drowned… but who else knew about it? 

You leaned up again and quickly erased the word “Drowned” to replace it for “Missing”, and this time the results were completely different. It was the second link; a list of missing people in Washington and you didn’t have to scroll down much until you spotted the name. 

“Cronus,” you read, “Cronus Ampora.” 

You clicked on the name and once the small thumbnail picture appeared bigger you stopped to look at him.

He was definitely the same Cronus you knew, you could tell, but he looked so… different. 

His skin wasn’t blue and purple, obviously, it was white, and the thick black hair that you were so used to seeing over his face was carefully slicked backwards in a 50’s style pompadour. You leaned closer, and spotted a couple of interesting shaped scars he had on his forehead, something you had never noticed before, most likely because of his hair covering them. And his eyes… His eyes were the biggest difference of all. Under his thick eyebrows there weren’t those dark purple rings you remember, but just a slightly darker shade of his own skin, indicating that perhaps he was used to sleeping past midnight. It was all nicely framing a couple of dark blue eyes. Dark and deep. 

You closed your mouth and swallowed softly feeling rather odd. 

“You were kind of handsome, you know…?” you whispered to no one ‘cause you knew he wasn’t there, and kept staring at his photo. Then you sighed softly and shook your head, bringing yourself back to earth and deciding not to focus on that anymore. There were more important things you had to pay attention to. 

You read a bit about the information next to his picture. He was born the 23th of January in 1995 and he was 19 years old now. Apparently he had been missing since May 24th, 2014. 

“Five months…” you said to yourself, raising your eyes to your wall calendar marking October 11th, 2014,  “Almost five months…” 

You looked down to the screen again and reread his name. The police number provided wasn’t what you needed right now. 

“Cronus Ampora.  _Ampora_.” 

You got up quick from your chair and walked out of your room. 

“ _Papá, ¿dónde está el directorio telefónico?”_  you yelled at your dad in your main language as you made your way downstairs. 

“ _Junto al teléfono, por qué?_  What do you need it for?” you dad responded from the kitchen and you approached quickly to grab it. 

“I wanna check something.” You said and ran back to your room. 

You closed the door and flopped on your bed, opening the telephone directory in front of you and going fast through the list of last names with “A”.

“Ampora, Ampora, Ampora…” you kept repeating to yourself, “Can’t be too hard to find, I don’t think there are many people call- aha!” you interrupted yourself, pressing your fingernail against the name  _‘Ampora, Orpheus’_.  

“ _Orpheus. Cronus._ Makes sense…” you raised your eyebrow at quite the peculiar names, but agreed they both had something in common, “He must be your father…” 

You looked at the number and then the address below. Your face dropped a bit as you stopped to think what would be best to do. A phone call? Or visit the man himself? Thinking deeper into it, a visit would be a lot more proper and… convincing. Calling him and telling him  _‘Hey, your son drowned and his ghost has been following me around’_ would sound like a total joke, but if you were there he would be able to look at you and tell that you were being serious. Not to mention that Cronus would get the chance to see his dad and his house again. Maybe he’d remember something finally. 

“Alright…” you said as you reached for your notebook and pen from your desk and started copying the address, “we’re taking a little trip tomorrow, Cronus…”


	9. Chapter 9

The neighborhood you walked through, address in hand, was a lot fancier than your own. You couldn’t help but stare at the big houses, all of them different from each other, with huge front yards and sometimes even fountains.

“Wow…” your lips escaped as you kept looking around. Sometimes you’d reread the address again to make sure you were in the right place. 

“Where are we?” 

Cronus’ voice behind you made you jump, pulling you back to earth and you turned to face him with a smile on your face. 

“Ah! I’m glad you’re here.” You said happily slowing down so he could catch up with you and walk by your side, “Do you recognize this place?” 

Cronus stared at you for a bit and then took a moment to look around. You waited patiently, still smiling and looking at him, but after a while he turned his dead eyes back at you with the same expression as before. 

“No.” he said and you stopped smiling. 

“What, really?” you asked a lot less cheerfully and furrowed your eyebrows a bit. “Not at all?” 

He shook his head. You sighed disappointed and looked down at the paper with the address. 

“I was hoping…” you started saying but stopped yourself, then you shook your head yourself and looked up at the road, “Never mind. We’re almost there.” 

“Where are we going?” He asked you and you took your time to respond. 

“You’ll see.” 

After a while of just walking together in silence you finally stopped at the place where the address was leading you. You looked up and took a moment to admire it. It was one of the biggest houses in the area, with a beautiful white fountain decorated with seahorses in the front yard. 

You sighed nervously and turned to look at Cronus. You couldn’t help but smile when you realized the house did seem to have an effect on him. He was staring up at it with wide eyes, completely still and lips partially open. 

“You remember now?” you asked him softly and he didn’t respond right away. In fact, his response was a little vague. 

“I…” was all he said. He didn’t nod or shook his head either so you frowned a bit before making your face neutral again. 

“Come on.” You told him gently and held his hand, pulling him to the fancy porch. As soon as you were done walking up the stairs, he stopped and you turned to look at him. He seemed like he was not willing to take another step further, so you let go off his hand and approached the door to ring the bell. 

While waiting for someone to answer you took a deep breath and let it out slowly. You were really nervous. How were you going to do this? What were you going to say? How to start? 

It didn’t take long until you heard footsteps rushing to the door and it finally opened. Your raised your eyebrows at the person that appeared in front of you. Perhaps you were expecting a man, but it was just a boy. A teen. He looked definitely younger than you, but he was almost as tall as you, if not your same height. 

“Yeah?” he asked you. He almost seemed disappointed. 

“Hello…” You greeted him nicely, “Is this the Ampora residence?” 

“Yeah.” He responded pushing his glasses on his nose a bit. 

“I’m looking for, um…Orphaner. Orphaner Ampora?” 

“Dad’s not home.” He said and you raised your eyebrows again. 

“Oh…” escaped from your lips and you couldn’t help turning a bit to look at Cronus. He seemed lost. He was looking around the porch, but to your surprise he wasn’t paying much attention to the kid in front of you. 

“Would you like me to give him a message?” you heard the teen’s voice and you turned to look at him again. 

“Um…Yes.  _No.”_ you hurried to correct yourself shaking your head and rubbing your eyes a bit. “I’m sorry…you said Orphaner is your father?” 

“Yeah.” He said furrowing his eyebrows now, looking a little confused. “Why? Who are you?” 

You turned to look at Cronus again, feeling a little abandoned here. You were hoping he had remembered something,  _anything_  by now, but things were getting harder than you expected. You turned to look at the teen boy again and seemed uneasy, not really wanting to make this question, but you  _needed to._  

“I’m sorry… Are you related to Cronus Ampora?” you asked, and as the words left your mouth, you felt your heart beating faster already. 

This time you got what you were hoping for. You got Cronus’ attention on the boy and reaction from the teen. His eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped a bit.

“Yeah, he’s… he’s my brother.” He said taking a couple of deep breaths and looking up at your face with a frown. You noticed his fingers gripping the door tightly. 

“Listen, my name is Kankri Vantas. I need to talk to your father, it’s important. I need to know at what time he’ll be back.” You hurried to say as you saw Cronus’ figure walking next to you and you peeked at him. He seemed uneasy, like for once and finally he was trying hard to remember something.

“I… I don’t know,” the boy said and you turned your eyes to him, “He left like an hour ago, I’m not sure where he went, but I think he’s gonna go to the gym afterwards. He goes to the gym on Sundays. Usually he comes back at…” 

 _“3 pm.”_  

Cronus’ voice echoed his brother’s and you turned to look at him quick with wide eyes. He, on the other hand, was paying not attention to you. He was staring at the younger boy in front of you. The boy noticed you drifting your attention away from him constantly and his eyes jumped from you to random places next to you on the porch, trying to spot what you were looking at. Then he opened his mouth, but before he was able to say something, you spoke. 

“Alright.” You said and turned back to him, “I’ll come back at that time, then. Thanks.”   

You tried to offer him a comforting smile and turned around to start walking but he stopped you, stepping out on the porch with his naked feet. 

“Wait, wait, wait!” he called you and you turned to him, “Why did you ask me about my brother? You know him? You know where he is?” 

The boy’s questions were like a punch to your chest and for a moment you didn’t know what to answer. You opened your mouth but no sound came out. You didn’t want to inform him of what happened just yet. 

“I do.” You said finally nodding a bit and hurried to continue before the kid was able to speak, “But I can’t tell you anything right now, I need to speak to your father and maybe it would be best if you were there too.” 

“Where is my brother?” he asked frowning a bit, really wanting to dig some answers out of you, “And how do you know about it? Who- ?”

“Listen, all your questions will be answered, but  _I can’t tell you anything right now_ ,” you insisted frowning as well. “This is not the place nor the time. I will be back at 3, when your dad’s home. Here…” you pulled out the paper with the address out of your pocket and ripped a piece to write down your cellphone number and then handed it to him, “This is my number. If your father comes home before time, I will come as soon as possible, alright?” 

The boy grabbed the paper and looked at it, then looked up at you and opened his mouth to talk but you interrupt him again. 

“I’m sorry. I’ll see you later.” You said and started walking away without looking back. You weren’t sure if Cronus was following you, or if he disappeared, or if he stayed, but you just wanted to get out of there as fast as possible. 

\- - - 

You stopped by a café near the area while you waited for the time to come. You chose to sit outside, in the farthest and loneliest table possible, and while waiting for the waiter to bring you your coffee and your slice of cake, you were looking at all the items in the menu until you noticed someone sitting in front of you on the previously empty chair. You raised your gaze, thinking that it probably would be Cronus’ little brother, but it was Cronus himself. He was staring at you. 

You sighed and put the menu down, staring back at him and crossing your arms on the table. 

“Do you remember anything, now?” you asked calmly, raising your eyebrows. 

“Vaguely.” He said with a deep voice. 

“That boy is your brother. And that was your house.” You said and he looked down immediately. 

He stayed in silence for a while, then he closed his eyes tightly and swallowed a bit. 

 _“Eridan.”_  

You raised your eyebrows to hear him mumbling something and you leaned forward a bit. 

“What was that?” you asked and he looked up at you. 

“His name is Eridan.” He said louder and frowned, looking really tense all a sudden.

“ ‘Eridan’. So you  _do_  remember your brother.” 

He looked down again and shook his head. 

“Not really… I just remember his name,” he said gripping his own knees tight, “It makes me feel very uneasy…” 

You furrow your eyebrows, thinking that maybe asking ‘why’ would be useless. You started to say something, but then the waiter came with your coffee and your cake and you turned to smile and thank him. You waited for the waiter to leave and you turned back to face Cronus, but he was already gone. 


	10. Chapter 10

You really didn’t have to wait long, only an hour before your phone started ringing. You were actually surprised since you were expecting to be there for at least 2 hours, in which you planned to drink your coffee very slowly and maybe even order another cake. But when you pulled out your cellphone to answer the call, you noticed the clock said 2:17pm. 

“Hello?” you picked up. 

“Hey. Are you the guy that came to my door a while ago?” you heard the teen’s voice on the other side of the line. 

“Yeah, the name’s Kankri.” You said wrinkling your nose a bit for not being called by your name. 

“My dad is home now. Can you come, please?” he asked in a hurry. 

You nodded even though he couldn’t see you and stood up.

“Alright, I’m on my way.” 

“See you in a bit.” He said before hanging up. 

You slipped your phone in your pocket and pulled out your wallet to grab some money while you tried to drink the rest of your coffee as quick as possible. You left the bills on the table, trying to leave enough for the tip, and ran out of the Cafe quick, making your way back to the address. 

“Cronus.” You called him, hoping that he’d come now but he didn’t answer. 

\- - -

It didn’t take you as long to get to it as before, and when you arrived you rang the bell trying to catch your breath. Your heart was pounding in your chest, both for running and for the nerves that were starting to take over you while you waited on the porch. The door opened a few seconds later and it was the kid again. He didn’t say anything; he just moved out of the way and invited you to come in with his hand. 

“Thanks…” you said breathlessly, cleaning your feet on the rug and entering the big house. 

As your breathing started to slow down, but not to it’s regular pace, you followed the boy into the living room.  There was a man there, the tallest man you’ve ever seen in your life. He was standing in front of a little glass table next to the chimney, filling himself a little glass of whiskey with his back turned to you.   

“Dad.” The kid called him breaking the silence and the man finally turned around to face both of you with the glass in his hand. 

The first thing you couldn’t help but notice, were a couple of scars he had across his face.  Despite that, he looked so much like Cronus, you could even say he was like an older version of him. 

“Good afternoon.” You greeted the man right away, feeling a bit more nervous and swallowing softly. 

“Good afternoon.” He responded with a very deep voice and sort of an accent. He looked very serious; it was quite intimidating, “My son Eridan called me. He said a boy claiming to know where Cronus is came to our house and asked to speak to me, is that correct?” 

You gasped quietly, trying to calm your nerves and then nodded. 

“It is, sir, yes.” 

“Listen kid…” he said and he looked at you dead serious, frowning a bit, “My son has been missing for months. I hope you understand how heart breaking and upsetting that is, so this better  _not_  be a fucking joke, or an attempt to get some money in reward for fake information.” 

You swallowed harder this time, but you frowned as well, looking right back at the man since you didn’t have anything to hide and what you had to tell him was nothing but the absolute truth. 

“I give you my word it isn’t, sir. I have information that you need to know. You and your son Eridan…” you turned to look at Cronus’ little brother for a bit but returned your gaze to the man, trying to relax you face muscles, “but it will be hard to hear. They’re not…well…I’m afraid… they’re  _not_   _good news_ …” 

You heard Cronus’ brother gulping next to you but you kept your eyes on the man. He stared back at you for a bit, in silence, and you could almost see his soul being crushed in his eyes. He was probably expecting the worst now, and that was good, since the worst had happened… After a bit he broke the eye contact and ran a hand through his face, then he pointed at the living room with his hand to invite you take a seat and you thanked it quietly, walking over to sit down on the individual couch while him and his youngest son sat in front of you on the largest one. 

You took a deep breath and looked down to the fancy rug for a bit, thinking how to start talking. You could feel the man and the boy’s eyes over you and you thought it’d be best if you’d just hurry. 

“Mr. Ampora…” you started off, raising your eyes to the man, “Your son Cronus…Your son Cronus is… I mean  _he is_ …I mean…” you stopped yourself right there and took a moment to sigh deeply, looking away. How were you supposed to say this,  _how?_  

“Is he dead?” you heard the man’s voice asking and your turned your gaze back at him quick. He seemed serious, looking straight up at you, but the young boy next to him seemed suddenly uneasy, making his eyes jump from you to his father. 

“Don’t say that, no!” the young boy hurried to say before you could reply, “He’s fine, right? Right?” he asked turning to look at you with a nervous smile; it was almost heart breaking, “You know where he is right?”

You looked at the boy for a bit and then back to the man, feeling a pressure on your chest and biting your lip hard before nodding. 

“ _Yes_ …I’m sorry, Mr. Ampora, but…yes, he is… he is dead…” you said with a sore voice and you heard the teen laugh breathlessly. 

“ _How do you know?_  Who the fuck are you?” he hurried to ask you and you turned to look at him, “How the fuck would  _you_  know something like that? We’ve never seen you before! How the fuck would you know if-“ 

“Eridan.” His father interrupted him and the teen turned to look at him, but you kept your eyes on the boy for a bit. He seemed to be at the verge of tears and he took this thumb to his mouth to bite it nervously. He sat properly again and remained quiet just looking back at you now. Then your attention drifted back to the adult man, who kept a dead serious expression on his face and was staring at you, “Please tell us who you are and how you know about this.” 

“My name is Kankri Vantas.” You started saying, occasionally jumping your eyes from the man to the teen and back, “I never really met your son until a couple of weeks ago. He…well, he came looking for me… like most of  _them_  do… but your son is different from the others ‘cause he doesn’t know what he wants or what he needs to  _cross to the other side_ …” 

“Wait, you mean like a ghost?” the teen interrupted you and you turned to look at him nodding. 

“Yeah… Exactly.” You said and looked back at the man in front of you, “I have this… _thing_. This  _power_  or whatever you want to call it; I call it  _this_   _fucking curse_ …. that I can see ghosts. I can talk to them, I can touch them, and they usually come to me seeking for help. But like I said your son Cronus has been the only ghost so far that doesn’t know what he wants. He can’t remember anything about himself, so I don’t know how to help him… I just thought it would be right to look for his family and…well…let you know…” 

The teen started laughing again shaking his head and he turned to look at his father. 

“Do you believe this bullshit?” he asked and his father finally drifted his eyes away from you to look at his son for a bit. Then he sat straight, taking the glass of whiskey to his lips and drank it all in one shot. He left the little glass on the table next to the couch and turned to look at you again. 

“Alright. Do you have any proof of this?”  He asked going back to his serious expression. 

You felt a pressure on your stomach and dropped your mouth a bit looking around the room.  _Goddamn it_ , Cronus was not in sight. 

“Well… your son usually follows me around, but… he doesn’t seem to be here right now… When he appears he drips a lot and leaves footprints and puddles behind…” 

“ _Why the fuck_  would he leave footprints and puddles behind?” the teen growled and glared at you while you kept looking for Cronus, “What, he goes around peeing himself?” 

“Ghosts usually keep the appearance they had when they died…” you explained turning your eyes back at Eridan and his dad, “Cronus, um…well, he died… _drowned.”_  

“Drowned?” now it was the man the one who asked and he smirked shaking his head, calling that bullshit, “ _How_  did he drown? Cronus disappeared over the night. He went to sleep and then the next day he was gone.” 

“I don’t know how he drowned, Mr. Ampora, Cronus doesn’t even know himself,” you said looking back at the man with a serious expression, “but his ghost goes around dripping all over the place, and for the nightmares I’ve had about his death, apparently he drowned at the sea ‘cause I remember salt water.” 

Your own words sank right into you as soon as they left your mouth. You said them without really thinking, and you couldn’t believe you missed something so important… Something  _so_  important!  _Salt water!_  

But you didn’t have time to repeat what you said in your head, for before anyone could say anything, the sound of glass shattering on the wooden floor made the three of you turn your heads. And you couldn’t help but smile really widely. Cronus was there, standing next to the table where his father kept the bottle of whiskey. He had pushed one of the glasses off the edge to make it break. 

“Tell him I’m sorry for that.” Cronus said looking up at you and you nodded softly. 

“What was that?…” the teen asked to you, his voice sounding a lot less cocky this time. 

“He’s here.” You said turning to the man and his son, “And he says he’s sorry for that.” 


	11. Chapter 11

The man turned his eyes at you. It was like he couldn’t believe what he just witnessed or he didn’t want to believe it. 

“ _He’s here_ …” he said to you and you nodded, “Alright. I want to see it. I want to see the dripping, I want to see water.” 

You didn’t even have to ask Cronus to do anything, ‘cause as soon as you turned to look at him again, Cronus started walking towards his father, placing a hand on his shoulder and getting the fabric of his blue button shirt instantly wet. The man seemed surprised and immediately turned to look at his shoulder. You wondered if he could feel it, but at least he was witnessing how the wetness was taking the shape of a hand until Cronus removed it. Eridan peeked to see what was going on, and when he saw the handprint on his father’s shoulder, his eyes widened and his face turned pale. 

“Is that…?” he partially asked turning to you, and you noticed his voice was cracking. 

“Your dad asked for a proof and Cronus touched his shoulder.” You nodded and explained to him as gentle as possible. 

The boy gasped in shock, covering his mouth with his hands, and his face turned red as his eyes flooded with tears that immediately started falling down his cheeks. You furrowed your brows a bit, thinking of something to say as he started crying louder and he took his hands to his blonde hair to grip it tightly. 

“Eridan…” you called him softly sliding to the edge of the couch and his father turned to look at him too. 

“Son…” he called him gently, moving an arm to wrap it around the boy’s shoulders but Eridan seemed completely broken. He was crying like nothing or anyone could do anything to make him feel better. You felt your heart shatter into pieces and you twisted the sleeve of your sweater as you tried to think of something you could say to the boy. 

“Kankri.” You heard Cronus’ voice calling you and you turned to look at him. You were surprised to see that he didn’t seem touched or affected by his brother’s crying, quite contrary, he had the most inexpressive face you’d ever seen on him, “Ask my brother why is he crying.” 

Your eyes opened widely to his cold-hearted request and you shook your head right away. 

“No! Why would you want me to ask something like that?” you asked him frowning a bit and glancing quick at Eridan and his father, who turned their eyes at you as soon as they noticed you were having contact with Cronus,“I mean, _isn’t it obvious?”_

“What did he say?” his father asked you, and you looked at him and back to Cronus for a bit, waiting for him to change his question or say anything else but he didn’t say a thing,  _“What did he say?”_  the man insisted and you turned to look at him again. 

“He asked me to ask Eridan… why is he crying?” 

Eridan immediately started crying harder. He shook his father’s arm off from his shoulder and stood up, running out of the living room and stomping up the stairs as he went up to his room. You heard a door slam and his crying became muffled. 

 _“Why would you ask that?”_  you asked Cronus angrily, feeling really upset that he didn’t seem to care about his brother’s feelings. 

“He shouldn’t be so fucking hypocrite.” Cronus responded walking in between the man and you, leaving his wet footprints on the rug as he walked up to the window. 

“Hypocrite? You thought that was  _hypocrite_?” you asked standing up and glaring at the back of his head. 

“What’s happening? What is Cronus saying?” his father asked and stood up as well, approaching you. 

“Nothing.” Cronus said before you could even reply, and turned to look at you and his father, “Tell him I’m not saying anything. I’m not here to talk about my brother; I want to talk to my dad. There are things I’ve wanted to tell him for a while, and I think… I think now is the right time to say it…” 

You closed your mouth and swallowed a bit, looking quickly at Orpheus who kept looking just as confused, but a new more important question popped in your head. 

“Do you remember everything now?” you asked Cronus but he shook his head. 

“Not everything. But I remember my house and my family and…” he stopped himself, finally showing some expression on his face: anguish. 

“What is he saying?” the man next to you insisted again and you turned to look at him quick. 

“Cronus can’t remember  _everything_  yet, but he says he remembers you, and Eridan, and his house; and there’s something he wants to tell you…” you stopped and turned to look at Cronus again, waiting for him to start talking. 

“I’m sorry, dad…” 

“He says he’s sorry…” 

“Sorry? For what? What did he do?” the man asked and you turned to look at Cronus again. 

Cronus looked down to the floor and crossed his arms over his stomach. He frowned more as his dead eyes clouded with tears and he bit his lower lip, trying to fight it back. 

“I’m sorry I never was the son you wanted me to be… I’m sorry I never made you proud and I’m sorry I was nothing but a burden to you…” 

You felt a pressure on your chest to hear Cronus say all that, and you turned to look at Orpheus, feeling bad to even have to repeat those words for him. 

“He says he’s sorry for not being the son you always wanted him to be. For not making you proud and for being a burden to you…” 

Orpheus raised his eyebrows and smiled sadly gasping a bit, looking to where he believed Cronus was and shaking his head. 

“Why would you say something like that?” he asked to the air with cracked voice and he bit his lip for a bit,  “What makes you think you think you are a burden, Cronus? Of course you’re not! You are my son; my firstborn, and I love you. I love you just as much as I love your brother. And believe it or not,  _I am_  proud of you!” the man smiled more widely though his deep blue eyes looked really sad, “So what if you didn’t want to continue the family business? You had your path in life very clear, and even if I didn’t quite understand your goals, you were fighting for them! You got excellent grades in high school and were about to start college, and I was so proud of you, son! …I’m the one who should be sorry…” the man’s smiled disappeared and he looked down at the floor, “I’m sorry I never showed you how much I love you. I’m sorry I even made you feel this way…” then he frowned worriedly and looked up again into the air, “Did this happen because of me, Cronus? Did I make you…?” 

You opened your eyes widely and turned to look at Cronus right away. Was this it?  _Could this be the reason why he died?_  

“No.” Cronus responded though, smiling softly and shaking his head with his eyes closed. He seemed pretty sure of his answer, “No, it wasn’t you, dad.” 

“He says no, that it wasn’t because of you.” You told the man right away and you saw him sigh and even close his eyes in relief, but it didn’t last long. 

“So then, what happened to you, son?” Orpheus asked and you turned to look at Cronus again. 

Cronus stood still and quiet for a bit, like trying to remember something but in the end he shook his head and shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I’m still not quite sure.” 

“He says he doesn’t know and he’s not sure yet.” You said to Orpheus and the man turned to look at you before looking back at the spot where the growing puddle of water was. 

“Is there a way you can find out?” the man asked. 

“We’re working on it.” You decided to answer this time and Orpheus turned to look at you once more. 

“Please let me know as soon as you know something. I’d like to…” the man interrupted himself as a knot formed in his throat, and his eyes shined a bit with tears, taking a moment before he could speak again, “I’d like to give a proper burial to my son…” 

You looked up at the man and smiled sadly, but nodded trying to give him a feeling of security.

“I will, I promise.” You told him and he forced a smile at you. Then he looked up again, sighing deeply and looking with his eyes for Cronus’ invisible figure. 

“If he can touch people… you think I could touch him?” the man asked you and you raised your eyebrows. You never really wondered that. 

“Um… I don’t know. Maybe you could try.” You said and turned to look at Cronus. 

Cronus looked at you and then looked at the man nervously, biting the nail of his thumb. Orpheus raised an arm and stretched it out towards the window where the puddle of water was, trying blindly to feel something. Cronus furrowed his eyebrows a bit and immediately ran towards his father. He passed the hand he had in the air and embraced him tightly, burying his face on the man’s shoulder. Orpheus’ eyes widened and he gasped, taking a moment to realize what was happening. 

“Can you feel him?” you asked, and the man nodded. 

“Yes, I can feel him. I can feel my clothes getting wet.” He said and chuckled, slowly surrounding Cronus with his arms and embracing him tightly, “I can’t really feel him like a solid body, though. More like an energy… like  _a presence._ ” 

Cronus sobbed a bit on his father’s shoulder and clung tighter to him, probably soaking the man’s shirt even more with his tears. 

“I love you, dad.” Cronus said while sobbing more and you smiled warmly. 

“He says he loves you.”  You told Orpheus and the man smiled really widely, closing his eyes as they finally started shedding some tears. 

“And I love you too, my boy. I love you so much. I’m sorry I didn’t show it to you as much as I should have, but just know that I’ll be thinking of you everyday…. I hope you will be fine wherever you go, and just keep in mind that eventually I’ll meet you there. You won’t get rid of me that easily.” 

Cronus chuckled along with his father and nodded, clinging a bit tighter to him and hoping that he could feel it. 

You smiled more widely and remained in silence this time, taking a step back to give them some space and a moment with each other. 

You were glad things turned out well after all, at least with Cronus’ father, and you felt like a little progress in helping Cronus cross to the other side was made. 

The hug lasted quite long but you didn’t complain nor interrupted it, you decided to wait as long as you needed too, until Cronus finally moved back and Orpheus had to let him go. 

“Is he still here?” he asked you right away and you nodded. 

“Yeah, he just moved back.” You said and turned to look at Cronus. “Cronus…” you called him softly. 

“Hm?” he asked, turning to look at you while wiping his tears. 

“Do you see it?” 

“What?” 

“The light?” 

Cronus raised his eyebrows and turned to look around the room. Then he turned back at you and shook his head. 

“No. I mean, not any light aside from the one coming from the window.” 

You sighed softly and nodded in understanding. 

“Alright, we’re not done yet, then.” 

“He doesn’t see it?” Orpheus asked and you turned to look at him.

“No, I’m afraid not. There’s still something Cronus needs to do.” You said and then you turned your head to Cronus, looking a bit more serious, “Maybe you should talk to your brother now.”


	12. Chapter 12

Cronus’ expression changed right away. He didn’t seem content anymore, and he slowly went back to having the same cold expression he had when he asked Eridan why was he crying. 

“No.” was all he said as he finished cleaning his tears. 

“Why not?” you asked right away, frowning a bit. 

“I don’t want to talk to him.” 

“What is he saying?” Orpheus asked and you kept staring at Cronus. 

“He says he doesn’t want to talk to his brother.  _Why_  don’t you want to talk to your brother?” 

“Because I don’t want to! All right? And he doesn’t want to talk to me either, so just fucking forget it!” Cronus growled, clearly showing how upset this was making him, and he huffed, “I’m leaving.” He said and turned away, walking fast to a wall to avoid giving you a chance to say anything else.

“Cronus, wait! You need to talk to your brother; maybe this is the reason why you can’t cross to the other side!  _Cronus!_ ” you yelled at him but he didn’t stop to your voice until he disappeared. 

“What happened?” Orpheus hurried to ask and you sighed, closing your eyes and rubbing your forehead a bit. 

“He left.” you said simply and turned to look at the man, “Mr. Ampora, do you have any idea why Cronus is so mad at his brother?” 

The man shook his head. 

“Beats me. They’re always fighting, to be honest.  _Or were_ … They used to have this really tense relation, I never understood why.” 

You nodded in understanding and looked away to the stairs for a bit. 

“You mind if I go talk to Eridan for a bit?” you asked and Orpheus shook his head. 

“No, of course not. Go ahead,” he said pointing at the stairs with his hand, “His room is the one to the left, with a Harry Potter sticker above the handle.” 

“All right, thanks…” You said looking up at him and offering him a little smile before surrounding the couch, “Excuse me.” You told him before making your way to the stairs and going up. You turned left, looking for the door with the Harry Potter sticker and you found it right away; then you walked to it and knocked on it gently, approaching your ear to the wood. 

A weak and quiet  _“Leave me alone…”_  came from inside, but you opened the door with caution anyway, peeking in. 

“Eridan?…” you called him softly, “It’s Kankri…can I talk to you for a bit?” 

The young boy lying on his bed with his face buried in a pillow sobbed a bit and sighed, shrinking a bit in himself and holding the pillow against his face tighter. 

 _“Is my brother with you?…”_  he asked muffled and you walked in the room, closing the door gently behind you. 

“No, it’s just me. Cronus left for now.” You responded. 

The boy sobbed again and whimpered a bit. 

_“What do you want?…”_

You furrowed your eyebrows a bit and slowly walked towards him, sitting on the foot of the bed softly. 

“Eridan… to help your brother cross to the other side, I need to know the reason why he’s so upset at you…” you said as gently as possible but the boy still clenched his fists over the pillow, gripping it tightly, and his body started shaking a bit as you heard him start to sob again, “I know it’s hard, but  _please_ … Maybe I could help both of you… There is  _clearly_  something bothering you and I need to know what it is…” 

You remained in silence as you waited for the boy to be able to talk. He kept gasping and sobbing for a bit until he finally babbled something into the pillow. 

“I’m sorry?” you asked leaning closer to him but he leaned up and sat on the bed, resting the wet pillow on his legs as he started cleaning his tears and runny nose with the sleeves of his shirt. 

“It’s my fault!” he cried out loud and you opened your eyes widely, “It’s my fault he’s dead! I said horrible things to him the night he disappeared! And then the next day  _he was gone!_ I didn’t think he would actually do it! I didn’t mean it! I didn’t…!” 

He covered his eyes with his hands as he started crying louder, and you stared at him in silence for a bit. 

“What… _exactly_  did you say to him?…” you asked carefully and he cried so loud you were actually worried he might hurt his throat. 

“I was angry at him! I didn’t mean it!  _I didn’t mean it!”_  

“What did you say to him, Eridan?…” you insisted and it took him a while again to be able to respond. Now he wasn’t even bothering to clean his tears and his nose, it was all running down messily over his face and dripping down on his pillow. 

“I told him… that he was the shittiest big brother I ever could’ve had…That Meenah would never want him ‘cause he was a useless and annoying piece of shit…and then I said… ‘Why don’t you just go die somewhere? I don’t want to see your fucking face ever again!’…” 

Your eyes opened more widely to hear say this and Eridan kept crying louder and louder, gasping desperately for air as he rubbed his eyes with the sleeves of his shirt.

“Eridan…” you called his name still in a gentle tone but frowned, “Why would you say something like that?…” 

The teen became a sobbing mess, completely unable to talk. He covered his face with his hands and you kept staring at him for a bit, wondering if this had been the reason why Cronus died… 

“Because he’s a brat…” You heard a third, deeper voice behind you and you turned immediately to see Cronus standing there, glaring down at Eridan with his hands in his pockets, “and he never learnt to watch his fucking mouth.” 

Cronus turned his eyes at you and you remained in silence, just looking at him and furrowing your brows a bit more worriedly. 

“Eridan and I would always fight for everything, even for the most stupid things. I don’t know if it was the age gap or what, but we never seemed to get along well… That night things went further than they should have. He said he wanted me to die and he never wanted to see me again…”

His eyes rolled back to Eridan and he glared at him again. 

“I had never been so angry at him. I knew I wasn’t going to forgive him in a long time, and I knew he wasn’t going to apologize either…” 

“So what did you do?” you asked timidly. 

“I didn’t do anything.” Cronus answered shrugging. 

Before the conversation between you and Cronus could continue, Eridan lifted his head, noticing that you were talking to someone else. 

“Is he here?…” he asked with a cracked voice, looking at you like a frightened little animal. You turned to look at Eridan and nodded. 

“Yes, he’s here.” 

The young boy gasped and looked blindly around the room. 

“Cronus?…” he called his brother, sobbing one more time. 

“I’m here.” Cronus replied looking at Eridan and crossing his arms over his chest. 

“He says he’s here, he’s standing right there.” You told Eridan, pointing at the spot on the floor where the water was dripping. Eridan immediately reached out for his glasses on the night table and put them on, like that could help him see where his brother was. 

“Cronus, I’m sorry…” he started saying looking above the water on the floor, “I’m so sorry… I’m so sorry, Cronus… I didn’t… I don’t know what I was thinking… I didn’t mean anything I said! I didn’t think you would actually…” he stopped himself as he started sobbing again, but did some extra effort to keep speaking, “Cronus, I’m so sorry! I know it’s my fault that you did this and I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” 

“I didn’t do  _anything_.” Cronus said firmly and you looked at him for a bit before turning back to Eridan and placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Eridan, relax. Cronus says he didn’t do anything.” 

The teen gasped a bit again and turned to look at you with big, swollen eyes. 

“He didn’t…?” 

You shook your head softly and turned to look at Cronus. 

“Do you remember how you died then?”  You asked him. 

“I remember it wasn’t because of Eridan.” Cronus said glancing at you quick before looking back at Eridan again, “What he said did hurt me, but I didn’t kill myself for him. My death  _wasn’t intentional_ , that I know.” 

“Eridan,” you hurried to say to the boy and he opened his eyes more widely, “Your brother didn’t kill himself for you, if that’s what you were worried about. He says he was indeed hurt for what you told him, but he didn’t  _kill himself_ for that. His dead wasn’t intentional.” 

You could see some relief in the teen’s eyes and he looked down, playing with the sheets in his hands but that didn’t make him stop crying.

“But I hurt him anyway…and he  _did_  die… It was like I cursed him! If I never said anything he would still be alive!” 

“Eridan.” Cronus’ voice called him and your raised your eyes to him, “Are you  _really_ sorry?” 

“He asks if you’re really sorry…” you told Eridan and he nodded right away, sobbing. 

“Yes, I am. I  _really_  am. I’m so sorry, Cronus…” he raised his eyes to his invisible brother again, “I regretted everything I said from the very first day you went missing. I was so worried and I just begged for you to come back home… I wanted to see your face again… And now I won’t be able to see your face anymore…” 

Finally the room remained silent, only echoing the sound of Eridan’s crying. After a bit Cronus lowered his arms and approached his brother, reaching out to caress his hair gently. Eridan’s sobbing interrupted and he gasped, opening his eyes widely as he froze in his place and you smiled softly. 

“You feel him, don’t you?”

“Is he touching me?” Eridan asked right away, staying completely still like a kitten. 

“Yes, he’s petting your head.” 

Cronus chuckled softly and then leaned down to embrace Eridan. Eridan’s eyes opened more widely and he paralyzed, only breathing a little heavier. 

“He’s hugging you now.” You told him making your smile a bit wider. 

“I know…I feel it…” Eridan replied with a shaky voice, “What do I do?…” 

You couldn’t help laughing softly, though it was natural that the kid was a bit shocked. 

“Well, you can hug him too if you want. You’ll feel like some sort of energy.” You explained. 

Eridan gulped and raised his arms hesitatingly, slowly surrounding the invisible aura that was in front of him. 

“Hm, silly little brother.” Cronus laughed and pulled him closer hugging him tighter. Eridan gasped and held Cronus more tightly too, closing his eyes as he felt the tears come back to his eyes. 

“Cronus…” he cried quietly. “Cronus, please forgive me…” 

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Eridan, just forget about it. All I wanted was to hear you apologizing…”

“Cronus says that it doesn’t matter anymore and that you should forget about it, Eridan, he just wanted you to apologize.” You explained to younger boy softly and he sobbed, squeezing his eyes tight and clinging more to Cronus’ presence. 

“ I miss you, big brother… I miss you so much… I wish I had been better to you…” he cried and Cronus smiled gently. 

“You’re being better now and that’s all I care about, to be honest… I should’ve been a better big brother to you too, Eridan, I’m sorry… Just know that I love you, ok? You big baby…” 

“Cronus says that you’re being better now and that’s all he cares about, but he also should’ve been a better big brother for you and he’s sorry for that. And he loves you, ‘big baby’ “ you told Eridan and finally he smiled really widely. 

“I lo…I love you too, brother…” he mumbled with a cracked voice, and once again, you remained in silence to give the two of them a moment to enjoy each other. 


End file.
